Bio: Fjord is the strong, silent type. Silent only in the fact that he doesn’t talk much, but this big sumbitch is a noisy fukker. Being 320lbs (mostly fat-headed) aand nearly 7 feet tall, this mealy mofo likes to smash things together, like carcasses or police officers.

Unconfirmably homophobic, Fjord works part-time as a fluffer in a make shift porn studio that fronts as a flower shop.

When called into a fight, he uses his big meaty forehead to deliver headbutts like a sheep-shagging Scotsman and his massive ham-sized fists to ram them up the sphincters of his unwilling victims.

Yeah, he’s probably gay but will never admit it. (Not that there is anything wrong with it, Twinkle Toes.)

Favourite Colour: Rose

Favourite Flower: Rose

Favourite Turkish Delight Flavour: Rose